The Joy of being a very very naughty old lady

The weather girl on the news declared, with some glee if I’m honest, that there’s a hurricane heading up the Atlantic towards Ireland.

‘It should reach our shores in a couple of days’ she said

Well the weather lady was a tad out, the gale force winds are stripping the trees of their leaves and my poor windscreen wipers cannot keep up the deluge of rain.

Soooo there I am in my little white car fighting the weather conditions and in need of some coffee.

I’ve never been so thankful for the ‘Mericans inventing ‘drive through’ .. I, like most Europeans thought it was a silly idea, why not just walk into the bloody café or bank. But today I’ve decided ‘Mericans are bloody amazing.

I don’t have to get out of my car to get coffee, no I can go through the McDonalds drive through. I’m saved, good coffee and no getting windswept or soaked. The absolute joy of it all.

So there I sat in the drive through, checking out the menu, not at all sure why cause I was only there for coffee. When my menu gazing was interrupted by a very loud horn and some very rude gestures for a dark Mercedes behind me.

One does not expect this sort of thing from a Mercedes owner, no not all.

Now what does one when confronted by an Arse in a posh motor. One develops a plan of action, that does not include rude gestures or honking of ones Italian Horn, one drives an Italian car.. One is me by the way.

So I pulled up to the window, ordered some coffee and engaged in some banter with the young man, this was to irritate the Arse behind me. I could see him in my mirror ‘going ape shit’ as they say in these here parts.

I pulled up to the next window to pay, again I engaged the young lady in some idle chat, while I hatched my plan. Another ‘Merican idea, ‘pay it forward’ Some ‘Mericans are very very nice.. unlike me.

‘I need to pay for my colleague in the car behind, can you tell me what he owes’

The Arse was having a Big Mac meal, so I paid for that and must confess I was grinning like a Cheshire cat, I often wonder do cats in Cheshire grin. But I digress form my tale.

I continued to chat to the young girl in Window 2 and was interrupted by honking horn a couple of times, I wanted everything to be ready, I didn’t want the Arse to cop on to my plan.

‘Yes both those orders are mine’ as I grabbed the bag and hot coffee from the young man.

‘Thanks so much’ I shouted as I drove off with my Coffee and the Arses lunch. I must confess my heart was pounding as I glanced in the mirror only to see the Arse engaging the young lady in Window 2 in a heated conversation.

Well both orders were mine, who paid for them, not the Arse.

The Joy of being a very naughty menopausal woman..

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