Well for those of you who are wondering Polish man flu is just like any other man flu. It’s bloody awful for the women who have to endure it. And, I am one of those women.
Let me paint a picture for you, I work mainly with a polish crew, they are a number of young very large, very tough and very hard working men. I have over the years endured Polish food, Polish football tales and Polish swearing. We are to be fair quite a little team. As the oldest member and only female member of the team I sometimes get to play the ‘maternal or matriarchal’ role.
In fifteen years they’ve never taken a day off sick, the odd hangover, but only when Poland win at Football, which let’s be honest doesn’t happen very often.
So to my absolute astonishment I arrived on site to find it devoid of workmen.
So I took to the phone ‘Where are you’ sez I all peeved like.
‘You’re not you’ve got a head cold’
‘It is Polish cold wery wery bad’
‘Ah for feck sake’ this was not the best start to a job but what could I do I had to wait until they slept it off.
The next morning they arrived looking, like death to be honest. They had armfuls of weird and wonderful concoctions to boil up as a cure Polish man flu.
Their faces were, please don’t judge me, but, their faces looked like melted mayonnaise and the polish plumber looked like he had two tiny scrotums under his eyes. They looked like a murderous mucus infected Polish terror group.
‘Ok boys let’s call it a day’ I suggested at 7.45 am
‘Ve can vork’
‘Nope it’s home time, come back when you can work’
They arrived, still coughing, not as bad to be honest, at least the Polish carpenter had stopped breaking wind every time he coughed. This was an unfortunate side effect for me, their sense of smell may have been muted, mine unfortunately was not.
They worked away taking regular breaks, pouring cough syrup into mugs coffee and eating cough sweets. My contribution to the flu remedy was lemsips. I made regular hot lemon drinks. To be fair this wasn’t in the job description as Interior Designer to the well heeled of Dublin.
But we motored on so we did, finished the job a day or so late but we managed it even with Polish Man flu.
The Joy of Man Flu even Polish Man flu